i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize