Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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