Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize