i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Can you bring me the toilet please
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
