He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize