So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
