call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
