Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
