he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
