I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize