Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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