Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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