Acid is not a monday night drug
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
