Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
