Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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