She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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