that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
