I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
