why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
