It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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