Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
