i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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