When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
