he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
