the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
