I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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