some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
