It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Come on in and take your pants off
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