Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
