alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The beer is more important than you right now.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
