I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My dad is sitting where you rode me
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
So. Much. Porn.
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