Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize