Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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