This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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