Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
