You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
