why didn't you poke me back
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
