yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
