You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
