she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
