have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize