If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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