Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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