Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
