Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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