Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
