My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
being pregnant is like rehab
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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