I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize