thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
