so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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