Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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