What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
