Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
