I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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