9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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