i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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