You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
