i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
