He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
