Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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